Funny SMS Jokes

Agar manzil ko pana hai to himat saath rakhna,
Agar pyar ko pana hai to aitbar saath rakhna,
Agar hamesha muskurana ho to BRUSH AUR PASTE SAATH RAKHNA

Jija: Sali ji,
aapke yahan ki sabse mash-hoor cheez kaunsi hai?
Sali: Jija ji, jo mash-hoor thi, usey to aap le gaye!

Ek Bar ek School me ek master ji Ek ladke ko
khada kar ke bolte hai ki Batao Mohan Taj mahal kaha hai
Mohan Bola pata nahi guru ji To Master ji bole
Banch per khade ho jao Mohan Bola Abhi bhi nahi dikh raha hai Master ji


Baap: Beta is bar exam main tujhe 90% lane hai,
kuch bhi kar.. Beta: Nahi Bapu,
main to is bar 100% launga...!
Baap: Kyon Mazak kar raha hai..?
Beta: Shuru kisne kiya..?!!

dil ki baat dil mein mat rakhna :
jo pasand ho usse ILU kehna :
agar wo ghusse mein aa jaaey to darna mat raakhi
nikalna aur kehna pyari behna milti rehna


main ooske pyaar me ban gayaa baraf kaa gola.......
main ooske pyaar me ban gaya baraf kaa gola.....
aur woh bewafaa bolti hai thanda matlab cocacola

Once a husband and wifewere preparing to go officeand the wife thoughtshe would drive today for the office.
Wife : Chalo na car me kahin ghumnechalte hai, aur car me drive karungi!
Huband : “Agar tum car drive karogi tojayenge car mein, aayenge akhbaar mein”!!

Man at medical store:I need poisonChemist: I can’t sell you that
Man shows his marriage certificate...
Chemist: Oh! sorry,I didn’t knew u had a prescription.

Main nay aap ko kalkhuwab main HOROONk darmiyan daikha.
Main nay khuda say pocha,Is ko kis naiki ki jaza mili hai.
Khuda nay farmaya:is ko jaza nahin,HOROON ko SAZA mili hay

Kiya ap kay sir per seengh hain?no r u sure?plz check again.no?
ok no problem waqie Gadhay kay sur per seengh nahi hotay

What is similarity between Mahatma Gandhi and MalikaSherawat………??????????
Dono ne apne kapre tyag diye ek ne desh ke liye aur ek ne deshwasiyon ke liye.

why the groom is made to sit on the horse on marriage ceremoney?
He is given his last chance to run away.


Zindagi me sHaDi karna bahut zaroori hai..
Kyon ki..?
Zindagi mein Khushiyaan hee sab kuch nahi hoti..
?
?


Teri zulfo mein kho jaana chahata hoon…?
Par tu tel hi itna lagati hai ki har bar fisal jata hoon..

He said… Do u love me just coz my father left me a fortune?
She said… No stupid, I’d love u no matter who left you the money!

How Pakistani professors speak english,
1. Don’t dare talk in front of my back!
2.Both of u three get out of the class!
3.Why r u so late.. say yes or no?
4.Take 5 cm wire of any length!
5.I have 2 daughters, both of them are girls.

Baatein karke bhola na dena,
Fasana karke mita na dena,
Agar de saka dosti to gham nahi,
Par dost banke bhola na dena.

Exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha to yaad aaya,
Kuch To Hua Hai Kuch Ho Gaya Hai,
Exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aaya,
Sab Kuch Alag Hai Sab Kuch Naya Hai.

What's the diff between Dava & Daru?
Dava is like girlfriend, that comes with expiry date and
Daru is like wife, Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.

newly married girl got first class in her B.Ed exams.
Her husband sent telegram to her parents,Ruby First Class in Bed!

Do u know whats A B C D E F G?
A Boy Can Do Everything For Girl
Now reverse da order, can u guess the full form of: G F E D C B A ?
Girls Forgets Everything Done & Catches(new) Boy Again.

jindgai not like “chup chup ke”
love is not like “Aksar”
But kiss is Like Murder”
Because Like Airtel ” Aisi Azadi Aur Kahan”

Teacher says to student,
In AlgebraA=B
&
B=C.It means A=C.
Now give relevent example.
Student: Sir, I love you & You love your daughter,
It means that I love your daughter

Girls are like phones. we like to be held and talked too,
but if u press the wrong button u’ll be disconnected!

MAMU :Chand toh raat ko nikalta hai, aaj din mein kaise nikal aya?
GIRL :Ullu to raat ko bolta hai, aaj din mein kaise bol pada?

Marriage:
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

Who said english is easy???Fill in the blank with YES or No…
1.—–I dont have brain…
2.—–I dont have sence…
3.—–I am stupid….

ho was d 1st indian cricktr 2 Bcum captain in his 1st mtch,score century in d same mtch &hit a 6 of d last ball 2 defeat england? AAMIR KHAN in LAGAAN

If dentists make films,?the names will be -
*Daant ho na ho
*Jaanam brush karo
*Aa ab clean karen
*Kabhi teeth kabhi gum
*Humara daant aapke paas hai

Full form of maths
M=mentally
A=admited
T=teacher
H=harassing
S=students

I Can SEE ‘TEA’ in A TEA-CUPCan you SEE the WORLD in WORLD-CUP?
I can SING on Any STAGECan you SING in COMA-STAGE?
I can FIX my PASSPORT Size PHOTO in My PASSPORT
Can you FIX Your STAMP Size PHOTO in a STAMP?

Taste this SMS
Did u feel da taste of ginger?No?Sure?Well…..
BANDAR KYA JAANE ADRAK KA SWAAD!!

Most people have 5 senses.
Some people have 6 senses.
But u r blessed with 7 senses.
An extra sense is NON SENSE.

Angry boss: Tumne kabhi Ullu dekha hai?
Executive (sar jhukate hue): Nahin sir.
Boss: Niche kya dekh rahe ho ? Meri taraf dekho.

A Sardar saw a Beautiful Girl,he Went and Kissed her.
Girl: “STUPID what r u doing?”
Sardar: B.Com final year”

Future plans of childrens:
Teacher asks children, what do u wish 2 do in future?
Adnan: I want 2 b a pilot.
Wakeel: I want 2 b a doctor.
Bina: I want 2 b a good mother.
Shariq : I want 2 help Bina.

4 roses, just for you!1st for Friendship.2nd for Wealth.3rd for Happiness.
and the last one..
Kaan ke upar laga lena, mast lagega.

Degrees of girls!
B.A.-Beautiful Angel
B.E.-Beautiful Eyes
B.Sc.-Beautiful Structure
B.Com-Beautiful Communication
M.B.A.-Married But Awesome!

What is the difference betweena woman and a magnet?
Magnets have a positive side!

What is the difference between wife & saali?
Saali is Beauty,Wife is duy,
Saali is passion,Wife is tension,
Saali is patakha,Wife is sayapa

U r BANDARIt means:
B=Beautiful
lA=Attractive
N=Naughty
D=Decent
A=Adorable
R=Romantic
R U smiling?Ziadah khush na ho yaar ho to tum band hi na:p